Anonymous asked: Dear Love Doc, Recently my boyfriend and I got into this deep discussion about how he wants to live with his parents when he gets married( keep in mind hes Armenian and very family oriented). I really love him but deep down this isn't something I want and the worst part is that he's not willing to compromise. We've been together for 3 years and I cant imagine my life without him. Is it too early to be talking about these issues or is this worth putting an end to what we have?
Dear Anon,
I don’t believe in “too early” as a time-related issue, but rather an individual-based issue. If you’ve been dating for 3 years and have thoughts about taking the relationship to another level some day, then no, it is definitely not too early. It may, in fact, be a little too late. I wish I could tell you what to do, but you’re stuck unless you make a decision. You can’t hide from this problem.
I can suggest talking to him. Guys tend to freak out when their girlfriends ask questions like “where is this relationship going” “when are we getting married” and “do I HAVE to live with your parents” but it is what it is and you two need to sit down and have an honest talk about your life together. It’s not going to be pretty, but the longer you put it off the more your life will be miserable. This isn’t something that’s going to just work out on its own, so you need to address it and figure it out.
My suggestion is: eat before you talk (full stomach = less agitation) , have the talk earlier in the day (more sunshine, no rush), and be honest, but understanding of his feelings. He loves his family, and he loves you, so he might feel like you’re making him choose if you don’t approach the problem with enough care.
Let me know how it goes, or if you need more advice or clarification
Good Luck,
and Always Love
